Orphaned Polar Bears (and Tarantulas)

By John Jacobson

A new species of tarantula was identified in Sri Lanka.
Branding the newly discovered Poecilotheria
as “face-sized” was a stroke of genius and the
story is making the rounds of the main stream media. However, some
people in Sri Lanka are wondering what the big deal is.
 Reports trumpet the venomous capabilities of the spider which
is a nice way of saying that it has a little poison but it can’t
kill humans (so not unlike some moles, platypuses, and Cuban Super
). Putting aside that it’s only the third largest
spider in the world, do you know why no one in Sri Lanka cares
about this story? poecilotheria_rajaeia Probably because there are
twenty things more likely to kill you in Sri Lanka than this spider
(since it hasn’t killed anyone). Let me stop you now from making a
joke about how civil war is violent and about how one of those
dangers is the Tamil Tigers. Newsflash – that war ended like four
years ago. Back to the real story. Despite a high life expectancy
and literacy rate, Sri Lanka is like the last place on the earth
I’d ever want to live because it has the highest per capita rate of
death by snake bit.  Cobras and kraits are found all over the
island but they aren’t as deadly because they don’t tend to hang
out with humans – unlike the saw-scaled viper and Russell’s Viper
which tend to live in populated areas. I’m sure people in Sri Lanka
would love the luxury of worrying about a big spider that might
draw blood with a bite… if they weren’t too busy about the snakes
living in their house that causes bleeding (internal) and almost
certain death without treatment. Not into killer snakes and
oversized (if overrated) spiders? Here’s some fuzzy… Kali – the
cutest polar bear orphan the internet has ever known. kali-polar-bear Kali was found abandoned
in Alaska and he’s currently hanging out at the Alaska Zoo in
Anchorage. Kali is Inupiat for “Point Lay” (which is apparently a
reference to sports gambling). Check out Matt Stopera’s moving
photo tribute
to Kali.  The plan is to transfer Kali
to the Buffalo Zoo this spring  to be raised alongside another
bear. However, since no one has ever been excited about going to
Buffalo in early spring, officials have noted that he’ll probably
be moved to St. Louis eventually. And for the cat lovers in the
bunch – meet Sygmond the Grey. sygmund-cat He’s not fat, that’s
hair!!! How dare you!?! More pictures of Sygmond at BuzzFeed.
And a kitten… who I thought was Sygmond but not I doubt it…
vlad Also, how cute are otters?
I mean, definitely said it before but it bears repeating, right?
otters-holding-hands otter

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One thought on “Orphaned Polar Bears (and Tarantulas)

  1. wqr says:

    cuter than a high class 20 pund shoe

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